what? you didn't know such a state even existed?
well then, my dear friends, you are sooo missing out because let me tell you, the nightlife here rules! I mean, there are no rules what am I even talking about? why here in the state of Delirium, we party till the break of dawn! and then some!
HAHA HOHO HEEHEE.
care to join us?
before you decide, let me give you a brief rundown of the current happenings around here.
10:00 PM: fuss, fidget, grunt, WAAAAA! the party is just getting started! I'm so excited I don't know whether to cry or laugh. (if I simultaneously cried and laughed would it be called craughing?)
10:24 PM: after feeding and burping, he finally settles down. zonk, I'm out like a light.
11:37 PM: I'm jolted awake by a loud explosion. what in the huh? I glance over at the baby but he's sound asleep! it's obvious I'm hearing things (due to lack of sleep, possibly?) so I close my eyes and sink back into the pillow. as I start to drift off, a noxious odor suddenly empowers me. oh for crying out loud, he pooped. a-gain. that would explain the loud blast I heard earlier, DUH. I stumble out of bed, flip on the light and start in on the dirty diaper. hubby mumbles from the other side of the bed, something about the annoying bright light. "I'd be more than happy to give you the honors," I say. no response.
1:53 AM (I haven't slept at all yet except for a few winks, maybe?): snort, snuffle, squeak, WAAA! WAAAAA! WAAAAAAA! my patience is dwindling.
ME: you get up with him this time.
HUBBY: I can't. my eyes won't open.
ME: I don't care. it's YOUR turn.
HUBBY: grumble, sputter. OKAY, fine.
hubby staggers out of bed, stubbing his toe on the bed post in the process. he lets out a howl, followed by a string of "select" words. I start to snicker, but a pillow suddenly slams into my face, instantly muffling the noise. HAHAhaa...mmmphh. "that was not one bit funny," he mutters. geez, some people find no humor at two in the morning.
3:54 AM: fuss, fidget, squawk. IS IT MORNING YET?
6:00 AM (on the dot): the alarm (aka, Scarlett) goes off. time to get up, she coos.
there is no more ibuprofen left in the world. I took all of it.