I'm blaming it on the pregnancy.

a couple days ago, I had an OB appointment scheduled at 1:00, right?

so, I arrive about 5 minutes early, check in at the front desk, and promptly make my way to the restroom, where I contemplate how many times in my life I've peed in a plastic cup.  judging by the accuracy of my aim, probably hundreds.  KIDDING.  about the accuracy part, I mean.  I hastily scribble 'contents of Jessica Kesti' on the cup and place it inside the little brown door, halfway wondering what they'll find this time-- that I've been consuming enough chocolate for three people?  or that I've lost my patience with Rowan a few too many times this week?  oh right, THEY CAN'T DETECT THAT IN YOUR PEE, phew.

I tromp back to the waiting room, where I settle into a chair and begin flipping through the latest Fit Pregnancy magazine.  by the way, have I ever told you guys how much I enjoy reading pregnancy magazines?  it's so much fun!  because I get to learn about all the things I've been doing wrong!  like how I should be eating bird seed instead of Wendy's chicken caesar wraps.  and oh my gosh, I shouldn't be drinking coffee either?  oh Alfred, I feel terrible!  no wonder you've been throwing punches at me!

anyway, I was so engrossed in the magazines, as well as relishing in the peace and quiet, that I apparently lost track of time.  because all of the sudden, it felt like I'd been roosting for a good long while.  meaning my legs had gone numb.  I glance at the clock.  no wonder, it's going on 1:30.  hmmm, I thought.  it's not unusual for my doctor to run behind schedule, but half an hour?  not to mention in the time I'd been sitting there, several patients had come and gone.  had they forgotten about me?

just then a nurse appears at the door of the waiting room.  maybe I'm up next, I thought.  but no, instead she calls out, "Holly!"  well that's weird, because this Holly lady had arrived well after me, and I had distinctly heard her telling the receptionist that she had an appointment with Dr. Perrin, the same doctor I see.  I felt my blood pressure start to climb.

by the time the next nurse appeared, it was going on 1:40.  when the name she called was once again, NOT MINE, I decided to investigate.  "is Dr. Perrin running way behind, or what?"  my lips turn back into a ferocious snarl.  "because I've been waiting for like 45 minutes already."  I had long since lost my patience, and was now a raging, hormonal pregnant person.  naturally.  "uh, I just got back from lunch," she tells me.  "let me check."  fearing her life is at stake, she quickly skitters off.

at 1:50, I'm FINALLY called back.  the nurse obviously sensed my irritation, because right away she asked if something's wrong.  "yes, in fact there is," I sputter.  "my appointment was supposed to be at 1:00, and it's currently 1:50.  if you ask me, that's downright ridiculous to have to wait that long.  besides, I can think of a million other things I'd rather be doing than wasting time sitting in some stuffy waiting room."

"hmmm, let's see," she replies, looking at the schedule.  "it says right here you're appointment is at 1:40."

OPEN PALM TO FOREHEAD.

dear pregnancy,

please stop making me look like a complete fool, okay?

-jessica

PS. Rowan has yet to relinquish his terrible-two card.

they say mud is supposed to be an excellent moisturizer for your skin, right?  RIGHT?!?