we don't see eye to eye.

this past week has left me hanging on to my sanity with both hands.

Rowan has been exhibiting extreme terroristic behavior again.  his mission: search and destroy.

it all started when he threw my vase across the room.  because I filled his cup with water instead of milk. (never mind the fact that it was ten o'clock in the morning and already he'd consumed one cup of juice and two cups of milk.)  before I could react, the vase hit the carpet, bounced once and landed on the tile, shattering into hundreds of pieces.  in the time it took to clean up that mess, he had scurried upstairs, dumped an entire bottle of shampoo on the bathroom floor and was slip and sliding in it, the empty bottle left floating in the toilet.

and then.  THEN.  while I was busy hanging some clothes to dry, he got into my spice cupboard and proceeded to pour the (very large Sam's Club size) can of black pepper and the jar of garlic powder into my kitchen aid bowl and was "mixing" the two together, a huge grin on his face.  "mom, making!" correction: you're "making" another mess, child.  and because that wasn't enough, he got a hold of Jake's glasses (which Jake "claims" were in the case on the top shelf in his closet) and bent the frame all up.

and that was just monday, people.

ALSO.  I won't mention that (over the course of the week) he broke my meat thermometer, colored on the girls' beds and carpet with marker, spread their scrapbook supplies all over, spilled half a carton of orange juice, left bite marks in every single apple, pooped in the tub while I was giving him a bath and emptied out the shoe closet.  five times.

you guys, I don't need a haircut anymore because guess what?  I just pulled all my hair out.

he even ruffled Gary's feathers, who's as calm, cool and collected as they come.

so, the million dollar question: how do you discipline a terroristic, serial tub-pooper, thrill-seeking two year-old?  you can't reason with this age; they don't understand consequences.  I've scolded, done the time-out thing, pleaded, cried, even threatened to sell him on ebay.  it's like talking to a brick wall-- I can't get through to him.  

maybe some of you have dealt with a naughty child like this.  do you have any miraculous solutions tips or tricks?  I can't keep him under lock and key and I can't keep an eye on him every second of every day-- I've got things to do and other kids needing attention.

so hey!  help a fellow mom (at her wits end) out, would ya?  or at the very least, throw some words of encouragement my way.  just don't be all, honey, that ain't nothin'.  add seven more kids, a broken washing machine, and a teenager who just walked in the door carrying a goat with hoof and mouth disease.  average friday night right THERE.  

note: pictures taken AFTER I discovered the bent glasses.  I thought they were goners, but Gary was able to fix them.  PHEW.

after taking these pictures, I realized what a fool I was in doing so.  because his little pea-sized brain understood this as: hey! mom thinks I'm cute and funny when I'm naughty. from this point on, I will make it my personal mission to destroy everything in this entire house. (oh but isn't he cute?)

I suppose it could be worse.

like when he's 16 and his phone call begins, "um, yeah.  like, so.  you didn't need the bumper on the car, right?"




Sue Hill said...

And I thought I was busy... there, was that helpful and full of encouragement? I've never had such a creative little boy! Sorry, but I had to laugh when reading this--trying to imagine the path of destruction. I wouldn't be laughing if it was at my house though.

Liisa said...

Wow... what a Day!! But, he sure is cutie (a good thing)! I have been told that the kiddos that really give you a run for your money when young - are the easy ones when they get older. Sure, some wise old matriarchs dispute that theory... But, just ignore them:)

Briita said...

he sure is cute and although I don't have advice (i have zero control over my kids) I sure got a good laugh out of yours!

Selma said...

Oh my. No advice from this direction as I have no experience; my kids are angels. Well, they WOULD be if I had any! Not likely. What little experience I do have with kids has taught me that they are always about a step ahead of you and you never quite catch up. But you did learn something about him, didn't you? He's smiling in these pictures! Naughtiness = smiles. Oops, guess that wasn't helpful, now was it.

AMullins said...

Go ahead, ship him on out ... we've been trying for a kid for 3 years with no success ... might as well jump in head first. Don't worry, we'll ship him back when he's 17. : )

Pete and Becky said...

My advice to you (for what it's worth) is keep hugging and loving him! This may be the kid that is an energetic, hard working, deep loving, motivated & industrious when he grows up. It's hard to motivate a kid that is parallel to the bed, much easier to motivate a kid that is sailing through the air! Good luck - he's one cute kid!

Martha said...

One thing I do know..is that you are definitely "bonding" with this child! I have had busy boys...maybe not quite that busy~but guess what? I am already getting amnesia and people have had to remind me about all the doozy things my boys have done!! So hang in there....amnesia is on its way, you won't even remember all of this and he will probably end up as calm as Gary!! Maybe he's getting all that negative energy out now and you will be spared the crazy teenage years! Take a deep breath and know that you are not alone...I have a few bald spots myself!!:)

Barb Makela said...

ummm... remember the stories grandma used to tell about daryl, brad, & tim? you may have the spirits of three of his uncles rolled into one little rowan... he sure is a cutie, tho. and if you want some peace and quiet, send him to me for awhile and then maybe i will be thankful for my childless state!

Brenda said...

I wish I could give advice but I could use some myself with my energetic two year old! I agree with the comment of ignoring them, but I am alway so quick to throw a fit myself :) I guess we are what we are! Somehow we have to learn how to drive that energy in a more positive direction... when you learn how please let me know! But yeah, know you are not alone and he sure is a cutie!

Brita L said...

But he's so cute!!!
No advice here but I will keep checking back to see if anyone has the 'miraculous solution'! I think children like him (and my Owen) just have the exploring blood in them (none of my other kids have ever wondered what will happen if they unroll a whole roll of toilet paper into the toilet and try flush it!). Owen has toned down a little as he's gotten older so there's hope yet for Rowan! Hang in there:)

jen said...

Hmmm. Tell us more about the teenager walking in the door with a goat!

Honestly, I firmly believe that Rowan will turn out to be a creative, well-adjusted adult. I envision him as being a talented problem solver, not afraid to take risks, with an inquiring mind, and a magnetic personality. All of this monkey business will be worth it in the end!

Good thing he's so cute!

Anita said...

I have been depriving you of teenage fun. I'm really feeling bad about it. You might get a good laugh out of the things I'm pulling my hair out over. I really had to laugh ... and keep laughing as I read. He sounds like quite a handful ... but cute as a button!
#1 Attach a cowbell to the poor kid. Might slow him down a tad if it's heavy enough .. and you'd be able to hear him.
#2 Wipe off every bit of WD40 you have on any door hinge. In fact, make the doors squeak with something. I found squeaky doors and gates to be my best friends. I knew exactly which door was opening. My home was a bit smaller and I had less feet in it, but it helped. :)

Now, about that bumper.
It goes something like this.
Mom & Dad are leaving in one hour for an overnite getaway. Dad looks out the front door and notes that bumper, blinker and front license plate are all missing. Mysteriously missing. Parents haven't heard a word about it. Hmm. Can't drive it like that now, can we? Driver of said vehicle is suppose to be picking up sibling from work as parents scoot out of town. Not. Can't do that anymore. Dad finds errant child and learns that car hit the ditch and lost the bumper. A very (by this point) grumpy dad sheds his "going out with mom" duds, dons his work clothes and goes about fixing the vehicle so he can actually leave and kids can get to school for the next week while he's gone out of town.

At least at Rowan's age you know the brain cells aren't even suppose to functioning at an adult level. At teen age you know they have them!

I need some neuron connectivity help over here!

Denise said...

well maybe with all his excitements he may become one of the presidents...Russ told me he will become the next president

Anonymous said...

oh hes soo cute! i had to laugh! but i would have been ticked if i was you! good luck!