experts say that communication is one of the key ingredients in having a sound marriage. and I totally agree. but sometimes life can get so busy that we only have time to mumble a quick "hello, are you surviving?" before heading in our separate directions. last saturday was one of those days.
Just Plain Busy:we spent most of the day going about our own business. he was packing boxes for the move while I was washing up the car seat and stroller and trying not to let the house fall apart as the kids raced in and out. soon, it's dinner time. we concentrate on getting the starving almost dying kids fed. twice, someone spills and Rowan decides he'd rather have his food spread across the floor than on his plate. we quickly try to inhale a few bites in between jumping up and down from the table. any attempt at visiting is completely foiled at this point. while we (try to) eat, the kids continue bantering, each one trying to be louder than the next. someone's whining because they want more milk. another complains that so and so took the last piece of bread. by this point, it's sounding like we're at the Indy 500. Gary simply shakes his head and gives me the nod from across the table.
which leads me to the next issue: the noise. sometimes the decibels in the house can reach such alarmingly high levels that we can't even hear each other speak. this is sure to hinder any sort of communication, as well.
Just Plain Noisy:we (finally) get dinner cleaned up and the hubby and I sit down with a cup of coffee. maybe this will be our chance to catch up. I wanted to chat about the upcoming move.
"so", I begin. "it...." at that moment, Phoebe decides to shriek about something and I am drowned out by the second word. "what was that? I didn't hear you", he says.
"I said, it sounds....." right then, Rowan drags a chair across the floor- screeeeech- and my second attempt fails. "I still didn't hear what you said", he yells over the noise.
I take a deep breath. "it sounds li......" suddenly, Hannah runs through the living room with Jake on her heels and she's screaming bloody murder. so much for my third try. he shrugs his shoulders and cups his hand to his ear, signaling that he still didn't catch what I said.
"JUST FORGET IT!", I holler. "I"LL TELL YOU LATER."
and so, we throw our hands up in despair and sit staring at each other while we sip our coffee amidst the ruckus. nice, huh?
I've also heard couples say that another good time to visit is in bed, after all the kids are soundly sleeping. but sometimes that just doesn't work out either...
Just Plain Exhausted:
so, we spend the rest of the evening cleaning up, showering kids, fixing snack and hubby makes a quick run to the grocery store. I decide to make bran muffins. we finally get everyone tucked in bed by 9:30. we're both about to collapse and decide to hit the sheets as well.
we can chat once I crawl in, I think to myself as I'm brushing my teeth. I make my way into bed and just as I'm about to speak, I hear a loud snort and deep breathing from his direction. you've got to be kidding me. he's already passed out. sigh. so much for that idea.
maybe we'll try again a different day.