12.08.2010

tears for tots.

there is nothing that sparks the Christmas spirit more than completely terrorizing your child by forcing them to sit on a stranger's lap and then immediately walking away, leaving said child to think that you're about to abandon them with this fruitcake.  forever.  so long, Johnny.  it's been nice knowing you.  now be a big boy and don't cry.

for example:



I give this kid an A+ for effort.  as you can tell, he's trying his hardest to keep it together.


since the time we were little and could barely talk, it has been emblazoned on our brains to never, EVER take candy from strangers.  and yet here santa is luring this child with a tempting treat, while his parents are in the background encouraging him to take it.


this little girl has the presence of mind to not only protect herself, but her candy, too.





















a valiant effort in escaping.  I don't know what's worse.  the fact that santa refuses to give in and free the kid, or that the parents used it as their Christmas card.


hmmm.  what do you do when one of your children is enjoying himself immensely while your other child is having a coronary?  a classic Christmastime dilemma.


this was the longest two minute photo session of her life.



the classic "scream and reach."  unfortunately for these children, the people they are screaming and reaching for are the same people that put them in this situation.


he's right behind me, isn't he.


the santa sibling sumo hold.


at six months old, this baby already knows it's fight or flight.  and santa, do something about that moustache.  please.


she's scared, but sucking it up.  for crying out loud, man up, big brother!


and last but not least, the hypocrite grip, aka hypogrip.  santa pleadingly looks at the parents as if to say, "do something! can't you see your child is terrified?"  and yet he still doesn't let go.

so there you have it.

ho, ho, ho.  merry christmas!

-jessica

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ha!

Heather D said...

thanks for the chuckles!

Ramona said...

This is so hilarious! You really make me laugh. You need to write a book!

Kristen Kep said...

just experienced this yesterday! I brought Anders and his cousin Bergen to see Santa and it was so funny to watch the kids reactions while in line. Half were thrilled...the other half petrified!

Anita K said...

Seriously there are tears rolling down my cheeks! I just love it! It's so true- obviously they should be scared when we just dump them in his lap and walk away :)

Kimberly said...

Had to share my santa picture from last year. It fits right in this category...
http://jkhenrie.blogspot.com/2009/12/ho-ho-ho.html
LOL